


merciless

by spritewrites (giggly__gay)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Lazy Mornings, Play Fighting, Tickle Fights, Tickling, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i love these two so goddamn much, it gets a lil suggestive, tagged for language and like. the presence of knives, this is a tickle fic, ticklish!diego, ticklish!lila, we love a good dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26124805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giggly__gay/pseuds/spritewrites
Summary: "Sometimes it was hard to tell when Lila was teasing. Maybe too hard."orLila is a little shit and Diego definitely didn't sign up for this.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts
Comments: 7
Kudos: 77





	merciless

Diego woke with a start, fingers twitching instinctively to his hip, only to find nothing there. Rather than the usual descent into normal breathing that usually comes from the realization that the nightmare was only a dream, the realization that his knives are gone only quickens his pulse. He spins – only to come face to face with a blade. His own blade.

“Morning, handsome.” Lila’s eyes gleamed with mischief as the rising sun glinted off the knife.

Of course. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just taking it out for a test run! These bad boys could do some serious damage, you know.” She smiled mischievously. “Better be careful, someone could get hurt.”

Diego sighed, finally allowing his heart to rest. Sometimes it was hard to tell when Lila was teasing. Maybe too hard. “Okay, okay, you got me. Now give it back.” He made a grab for the hilt, but she tipped it back out of his reach.

“Easy there, knife boy’s getting grabby!” She leaned in close, nose to nose, and Diego could feel her hot breath on his cheek. “Say the magic words.”

“ _Lila_ –”

“Say ‘em.”

He felt cold fingers creep their way up his spine, even as the knife hovered just out of reach, and he let his eyes drop to her lips. Diego was pretty sure he knew this game. “You’re demanding in the morning.”

Her grin widened. “Wrong answer!”

“Wh –” Suddenly, those same cold fingers started digging into his side. Diego squawked, reaching for her wrist, but found himself flung back onto the pillows as the knife clattered to the floor. The wild scribbling in his side became a methodical squeezing, and he shrieked, curling in on himself. He kicked out frantically, seeking purchase against her solid weight, but only succeeded in further tangling himself in the blanket. Oh _fuck_.

“I _knew_ it! I _knew_ you were ticklish!” Lila crowed, and her fingers found Diego’s ribs and he twisted, breathless, trying his hardest not to release any of the giggles that were building in his chest.

“Lila, don’t,” he choked, wishing (for maybe the first time in his life) that he was wearing a shirt. She flashed him a wicked grin, pinching at his topmost ribs and seeming to revel in the bizarre gagging noises he was making. “Fuck, _please_ –”

“Ah, he begs!” She carefully poked at the soft part just underneath his underarms, and Diego nearly _shivered_. “And before I’ve even got you laughing, too…” Two fingers slid easily down his shaking chest and toward his stomach, and _oh, FUCK._

“ _No_!” he cried, and in perhaps his riskiest move yet, he launched himself at her, tumbling them both off the bed and onto the ground, taking the bedding with them. For a second, Diego was so tangled in blankets that he couldn’t tell which way was up, and his hands scrambled for something solid to ground himself with, eventually finding – _oh?_ – Lila’s bare stomach. He caught her eyes, finding them strangely wide, and – _oh._ Right. Diego _knew_ this game.

“Hey, wait –” Lila began, but she was interrupted by a peal of her own laughter as Diego ruthlessly scribbled his fingers over her stomach.

“Not so bold now, are you?” he teased, delighting in her helpless kicks as he moved to tickle her hips. She tried to answer, but ended up choking on her own giggles. Normally, he thought of Lila as dangerous, wild, sexy even, but now, squirming under him, laughing her head off, she looked kind of… cute.

“Give up?” he chuckled, digging his thumbs into the space next to her hipbones that made her squeal.

“Never!” she cried, and suddenly Diego felt a leg hook around his knees, sending him thudding to the floor.

“What the fuck?”

Lila’s grin was terrifying in a way that made his heart throb. “Sorry, handsome. Guess you lose.”

With that, she vibrated all ten fingers into his stomach. Diego screeched, arched his back, and fell into wild, cackling laughter. Distantly, he could hear Lila laughing too – laughing at _him_ , most likely – but he couldn’t concentrate on being mad at her about it around the overwhelming static of ticklishness that had taken over his brain. He was (probably) flailing around like a madman, and (most likely) on the edge of literal tears from the crazed giggling that was pouring out of his mouth, but Diego’s mind was on a loop of _no no no no no no_ and he couldn’t focus to save his life.

God, he hadn’t been tickled like this since he was a kid. He’d kind of thought he’d grown out of it, but clearly Lila and her evil nails were just as devastating as six asshole siblings who knew your worst spots. He nearly choked when one of those nails slipped into his navel, making him _howl_ with laughter.

“Fuck – _fuck_ , Lila, please, I _can’t_ –”

“No mercy!” she giggled, and _fuck_ , Diego was going to _die_. In a last-ditch effort, he grabbed for her legs, his fingers digging into her thighs, and Lila let out a high-pitched shriek and flipped off him. _Oh. Discovery._

Lila scrambled back, tripping over piles of blanket, a smile already playing on the corners of her mouth. “Diego… please…”

“Ah, she begs,” he teased, sliding his hands up her calves, over her knees (a twitch and a giggle there, the way Five used to) to rest on her thighs. She gasped, eyes dancing, and grabbed a fistful of blanket to brace herself. Diego smiled, purring into her ear. “And before I’ve even got you laughing, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: spritewrites


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